The Call Of The Yogini

It was just as she had seen in her dream, about five years ago. Just three nights after Sumit had left her for her best friend. Kavita remembered the dream clearly because that was the only night, she had fallen asleep after he had walked out of their apartment.

In the middle of the jungle, surrounded by tall deodar (Himalayan cedar) trees, a complex of statues in the open air almost in decrepit condition, abandoned.

“These are the statues of the Yoginis that were created almost 350 years ago. And yes, nobody comes to worship in this unique temple complex now, as you can see,” said the guide Joka. He was appointed by the tour company, to take care of the all-women trekking group in the Himalayas.

An astounded Kavita started exploring the place, walking amidst the statues and other structures that were the remnants of the unusual open air temple complex dedicated to the Mother Goddess.

As Kavita made her way through the overgrowth soaking in the surroundings, she recollected how it was different from her dream, that she could clearly remember as if it was just yesterday.

She had seen these statues in twilight, just before darkness was about to descend in the evening. She saw an unbroken statue, a women’s face with hands in the front. A golden ball of light was rotating on top of the hands, it was as if the ball was energizing the atmosphere and even beyond. She could also make out the silhouettes of other statues in the background, but this was the prominent one.

Kavita tried her best to remember the face of the statue, but could not. What was clear in her memory was the suffused atmosphere, the ball of light, the palms and the eyes looking at her trying to tell something.

The eyes were alive in the dream and so was the whole atmosphere, charged with a surreal energy which she could feel even now.

“How many statues are here, or let’s say, were here? Would you be knowing the names of the Yoginis?” Kavita asked Joka. Her heart thumping fast, as she understood that whoever or whatever she had seen in her dream had brought her here.

“Originally the temple complex had the statues of 64 Yoginis, however now as you can see, very few remain, most of the statues are broken. I bring tourists here because it is an interesting place to visit in the middle of the jungle,” answered Joka.

Kavita now had a singular focus – to locate the statue she had seen in her dream. The eyes that looked straight at her, the ball of energy in the air … what did it indicate?

She looked around but could not find a similar figurine, in fact none of them were intact. There was no sign or resemblance to what she had seen in her dream.

Feeling helpless, she implored the guide and asked, “Do you know if among all the statues that have been destroyed, any of them were of great significance?”

Curious to see her deep interest in the derelict temple complex, Joka said, “As you can see not even one statue is in a good condition, it is difficult to recognise which belongs to which Yogini, and I am afraid I don’t know all their names. However, I certainly know that the most important one was the statue of Yogmaya. You are aware of her story, right?”

When Kavita shook her head to indicate that she was clueless, Joka started recounting the story of Lord Krishna’s birth. Others in the group also gathered around to hear the story.

Joka continued, “Yogmaya was the girl child born to Yashoda and Nand, who was exchanged with Sri Krishna by his father, Vasudeva. This was done by Vasudeva to save Krishna from being killed by his uncle, the cruel king Kamsa. And when Kamsa tried to kill the exchanged child, she vanished from his hands announcing that the one who will kill him has already been born. Yogmaya is another form of Adi Shakti, the primordial Mother Goddess, she is the energy who runs the universe.”

Listening to the story, Kavita felt that she almost could not breathe. She was certain that it was the statue of Yogmaya that she had seen in her dream.

Was it destiny that brought her today to the sacred spot of 64 Yoginis, after almost five years of seeing the dream? Or was it a call that has resurfaced and subconsciously guided her here?

But what was the message? Surely there had to be one, wondered Kavita, looking around at the ruins trying to find an answer.

She has lived through a nightmare in the last five years. It was as if all the dreams she had cherished in her lifetime came crashing down.  Her marriage crumbled and with it died all the treasured identities in her life – her carefully nurtured enviable lifestyle, her social standing as an art connoisseur that earlier gave her so much pride. Kavita believed she was nothing. She was so broken that she never realised all the happiness and power of her life she had invested in just one relationship, one man, whose betrayal, broke her completely.

She took this trip on the insistence of her cousin who felt that she needed a change from her life in Delhi and keep her mind away from the broken, crumbled pieces of her life that would never come together.

And here, after five years, she came to the very spot whose dream echoed the most painful memories that she wanted to forget. Kavita was keen to spend some time at the spot and suggested to the group that they can have their picnic lunch here. Thankfully, they all agreed to take a break at the spot and have their packed lunch arranged by the tour company.

As her fellow travellers started gorging on puris and potato curry, food was farthest from Kavita’s mind. Like a woman possessed, she went from one broken statue to another, trying desperately to locate the one she had seen in her dream.

Almost one hour had passed. As the group started moving ahead, Joka called out to her.

Fatigued and feeling helpless, Kavita sat down on a broken stump and acknowledged Joka’s call. “Yes I am coming in a few minutes, you guys move ahead.”

“I am sorry madam, I can’t leave the place without taking everyone with me. It is not safe for you to be here alone,” replied Joka in a slightly stern voice.

“Alright, I am coming,” said Kavita, getting up with a sigh of resignation.

As she touched a stone piece for support to get up, she felt as if she received an electric shock.

It was so strong that she let out a cry.

Joka came running and asked, “What is it madam, have you got hurt?”

“No, I haven’t. I felt a shock as if an electric current passed through me,” said Kavita, as she bent down again to have a closer look at the stone she had just touched.

She could clearly make out two hands – all that had remained of the statue.

The hands that held the energy and brought her here.

It had taken time, but she had arrived.

Always sensitive, she could feel a strong surge of energy course through her body.

She knew it was impossible for her to take the heavy stone hands with her, and maybe they were not meant to be removed from the place.

After Kavita returned to Delhi, the dreams followed.

She saw herself standing in front of the statue with eyes that were alive.

The ball of energy came to her and merged into her body. When she woke up with a start, she found that both her hands were very warm.

This happened for three consecutive nights. She knew it was a divine help reaching out to her in a most unusual way, but what it was she was unable to understand.

A day later, Kavita got a call from her close friend Diya, asking if she would like to join an energy healing workshop which the latter was going to attend.

Kavita agreed, though not too sure why she did.

As the workshop started, it struck Kavita that this was the way forward for her – to be healed and then heal others, moving forward in life in the flow of the beautiful energy.

The goddess had herself come to show her the way. The wait had been long, but Kavita had finally found her true path.

(Excerpt from the book ‘Invoking Our Inner Goddess’)

(Sudipta is an energy healer, Akashic Records practitioner and mystical storyteller. Her collection of short stories ‘Invoking Our Inner Goddess’,’Mystical Tales Of Sacred Earth’, ‘The Blue God’s Love’ and ‘Enchanted Waters: The Magical Flow Of Life’ are available worldwide on Amazon Kindle.)